When school starts each August, many children feel a flutter of excitement and a knot of worry. A little nervousness is normal, but an estimated 12% of young people struggle with anxiety disorders that can turn the new school year into an overwhelming ordeal.
As parents and caregivers, you’re in a powerful position to reduce anxiety before it snowballs into avoidant behaviors like “mystery stomachaches,” morning meltdowns, or flat-out school refusal. Below you’ll find five evidence-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) tools, complete with breathing and relaxation strategies, that you can begin teaching your child tonight.
Why the Transition Triggers Anxiety
Back-to-school fears rarely have a single cause. Kids may worry about:
- Separation anxiety (“What if no one’s there to pick me up?”)
- Social anxiety (“Who will sit with me at lunch?”)
- Academic pressure and perfectionism
- Bullying, new teachers, or navigating a bigger school building
Left unaddressed, these worries can fuel a cycle of reassurance-seeking and avoidance that keeps anxiety strong and undermines confidence throughout the year.
Five Parent-Powered CBT Techniques
| Technique | Why It Works | How to Try It Tonight |
| Feelings Thermometer | Naming emotions helps kids separate feelings from facts. | Draw a 0–10 “thermometer.” Ask your child to rate today’s school anxiety. Repeat after homework, bedtime, and tomorrow morning to show feelings rise and fall. |
| Thought Detective | Cognitive restructuring turns catastrophic predictions into balanced thoughts. | When your child says, “No one will play with me,” help them list evidence for and against that thought, then craft a realistic version (“Some kids might be shy at first, but I made friends last year.”). |
| Deep Breathing & Muscle Relaxation | Slow breaths activate the body’s “off switch” for stress. Muscle relaxation reduces tension. | Practice “4-4-4 breathing”: inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4. Then scrunch shoulders for 5 seconds and release. Repeat head-to-toe. |
| Bravery Ladder | Gradual exposure helps kids face fears step by step. | List school-related steps from easiest (walking by the classroom) to hardest (staying the full day). Celebrate with specific praise after each rung. |
| Worry Time, Coping Cards, & the Worry Box | Containment keeps worries from hijacking the whole evening. | Schedule a 10-minute “worry time.” Kids jot fears on cards and either place them in a decorated “worry box” or talk briefly before setting them aside. At the end of the day, remind your child: “The worry is in the box—we don’t have to carry it all night.” They can revisit or “retire” old worries when ready. |
Tip: Pair each tool with calm validation: “I can see this feels big for you. Let’s try a strategy together.” This models the compassionate stance our clinicians use in session.
Where SPACE Comes In: Parent-Focused Anxiety Support
Sometimes CBT strategies at home aren’t enough. When anxiety is intense, it’s natural for parents to step in with extra comfort, like offering reassurance, staying close at bedtime, or helping a child avoid situations that feel scary. These responses come from love and protection, but over time they can unintentionally give anxiety more room to grow.
That’s where SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) can help. Developed at the Yale Child Study Center, SPACE is an evidence-based treatment designed specifically for parents. Instead of focusing on the child directly, SPACE gives parents step-by-step strategies to:
- Reduce unhelpful accommodating behaviors
- Learn supportive responses that encourage independence
- Feel more confident in handling anxiety-driven behaviors
- Work as a team so children hear consistent messages
Parents often find that making small shifts in their own responses can lead to powerful changes in their child’s anxiety, and strengthen the parent-child relationship along the way.
Spotting Progress—and When to Seek Help
Small wins matter: shorter tantrums, fewer nurse visits, or a willingness to enter the classroom without clinging. If severe school anxiety (including repeated absences or somatic complaints) lasts more than four weeks, professional support is recommended to prevent further disruption to academics and emotional health.
Red Flags include:
- Consistent school refusal or avoidance
- Escalating physical complaints with no medical cause
- Nighttime panic attacks or refusal to sleep alone
- Any mention of hopelessness or self-harm
How The Ross Center Can Help
Our child psychologists and psychiatrists specialize in evidence-based treatments, including CBT, SPACE parent training, and (when appropriate) medication management. Sessions are available in person or via secure telehealth.
Live near one of our offices?
- Washington, DC (Friendship Heights) – Call 202-363-1010
- Northern Virginia (Vienna) – 703-687-6610
- New York City (Midtown Manhattan) – 212-337-0600
Prefer telehealth? Our clinicians are licensed in DC, VA, MD, NY, and additional PSYPACT states, so support is just a video call away.
Tonight’s Takeaway for Parents
Back-to-school worries are common, but they don’t have to run the show. With CBT tools, you can help your child build skills for calm and confidence. And with SPACE, you gain parent-focused strategies to support your child’s resilience for the long term.
Ready for extra support? Contact the Ross Center office nearest you or request a telehealth session today. Together, we’ll turn back-to-school jitters into lifelong coping strength.
