Paying attention, letting go, and approaching moments with curiosity all seem simple. Conceptually, mindfulness seems easy and you may be asking yourself, what is the point? Why bother attending to my experiences? How will things be different if pay attention to my thoughts? Will this help? Will I become a better parent if I do this?
Becoming More Aware
Awareness is a key component in behavior change. Before we can take steps towards making changes in our lives, we need to know that something is a problem. Additionally, we must be aware of the internal and external factors that maintain a particular problem behavior. Therefore, mindfulness is a key ingredient in change. Your thoughts, emotions, physical reactions, and urges are highly valuable pieces of information. Increased awareness leads to more choices in how you respond. Mindfulness improves your ability to step out of autopilot, or a pre-programmed pattern of responding, and instead respond in a way that is more consistent with your goals.
The Benefits of Mindfulness for Parents
Research suggests that mindfulness can reduce parenting stress, improve emotion regulation, cognitive flexibility, and problem-solving abilities. Furthermore, when parents model mindfulness skills, their children learn to apply these skills in their own life. A mindfulness practice does require commitment, intention, and consistency. With mindfulness comes more awareness, control, and opportunity. While the evidence is promising and suggests that mindfulness could improve your parenting abilities, it is important to identify your own mindfulness goals and to remain non-judgmental with yourself.
LEARN HOW TO STOP*
As part of an ongoing mindfulness practice, the goal is to STOP.
Stop
- Before you react on autopilot, stop and take a mindful moment
Take a breath
- Practice paced breathing, inhale for 3 counts/exhale for 5 counts, take as many breaths as you need to regulate your system
Observe
- Notice your thoughts, emotions, physiological cues, and urges
Proceed mindfully
- Ask yourself, what is my goal in this moment, proceed behaviorally in a way that is in alignment with your goal(s)
There is no destination with mindfulness. Every second is an opportunity to practice and to pay attention. There is no right or wrong. This purpose of this series was to provide introductory mindfulness skills and to outline the fundamentals of mindful parenting. The hope is that you find components of mindfulness that help you to feel like a more present and effective parent, even when the moment may be difficult.
If you’d like to develop a mindful parenting mindset, Dr. Bernstein can help. The Ross Center also offers therapy for children and adults as well as parent consultation services. Learn more about our services for parents HERE.
Contact Us to schedule an appointment.